He Should Have Just Bought the CD

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Texarkana, Arkansas, where bozo Zemarcus Simpson had a rap concert that he really, really wanted to attend. Only problem, the show was in another state and there just wasn’t time enough to drive. So, he did what any bozo would do. He attempted to steal an airplane. Never mind that he didn’t know how to fly it. At about 2:30 AM, airport security noticed our bozo jump a fence and attempt to gain access to an American Eagle twin engine jet. By the time officers arrived our bozo was inside the plane and fiddling with the controls. Fortunately, none of the buttons he hit was “Start.” Officers boarded the plane and took our bozo into custody. When asked if he had any experience as a pilot, he replied that, while he did not, he figured all you had to do was “push some buttons and pull some levers.” He’s under felony charges of commercial burglary and theft of property.

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